OK...So before I start, I want to warn anyone that is reading that this blog is going to be a full-speed ride through my psyche. You've been warned!!! Proceed at your own risk!!!
So, here at CC, the staff is always striving for self-improvement and raising the bar in the CrossFit community, which I love and what attracted me to this group in the first place. In doing so, some of the coaches(including myself)have dedicated themselves to a Tony Robbins Workshop and Peer Group. Basically, we are taking time each day to individually listen and absorb the "heavy" content that Tony shares. Not only are we just listening, we are also taking notes during each session.
I will be honest, since first hearing about Tony Robbins from a friend in Colorado and the success he gained by incorporating one of Tony Robbins' products, I have wanted to get started with one of his programs. So this opportunity to join this peer group at Central was very exciting!
Today marked the 5th day of our listening itinerary, which also meant that we had our first meeting as a group to discuss what we have experienced thus far. During one particular section of our discussion, I was asked, "What disturbs you?" My response, in short, was that, "I take myself too seriously and, that in turns, sets me up for failure and constantly leaves me unfulfilled." Pretty deep stuff, right? If you want to stop now...I understand. For the brave...a new paragraph.
Let me back up just a bit and explain the question of, "What disturbs you?" Tony teaches that if you are to make a powerful change in your life, and make a turn for the better, you must first become deeply disturbed by the issue. This disturbance causes a powerful/painful emotional feeling that essentially drives the change. So, now that we have the context, it should be clear that I am disturbed by the fact that I am consistently "beating" on myself for any and all mistakes made, as well as under-performing in all the aspects of my life. NOT the best way to go about living your life!!!
Once I thought I had THE issue figured out, I started to make a conscience effort to steer my mind from the negative, and rather focus on all that is positive. (BTW...I encourage everyone to try this for just one day...it is remarkably difficult!) I found myself doing a pretty good job of staying in the positive, and was pretty damn excited!!! BUT...when it came to my personal performance as a CrossFit athlete, I found it extremely difficult to control my mind in a positive direction - a battle I have been fighting lately. I became completely frustrated and overwhelmed today during the .COM WOD when I was unable to complete a muscle-up! For those that know me, muscle-ups are not a difficult task for me. So, obviously, this was a huge blow to my esteem and in that moment I lost faith in my abilities as a CrossFitter. I hit rock bottom as an athlete, and because of it, I realized that I had NOT found the true "root" of my problems.
It took sitting down in front of a steak salad at Central Market(very good, BTW)in a complete oblivious fog, and evaluating my situation...THIS is it...I don't really like myself, and more importantly, I don't LOVE myself. I know this is the root because I was able to talk about the many reasons why I don't truly love myself with my girlfriend, Crystal for nearly 30minutes straight, and the many ill-effects this causes in my life. I would have ran out of fuel if this was not a major issue.
So there it is. The BIG ONE. It makes a sort of sick and twist sense to me now, and without getting in too deep(too late...?), I have now created a game plan to reverse this complex. The best way I can describe it is a long-ass METCON WOD for my mind. I am going to train it and strengthen it to the point that I will have complete control over the direction of my thoughts. I will also be spending time in solitude to focus on ME, as well as joining a yoga studio to further accomplish the end goal of a peaceful, positive, iron mind.
Thanks for playing.
